Did I call it, or what? Well, almost. I was wrong about Julie Christie, but otherwise . . . An all-European quartet of major Oscar-winners surely made abardem.jpg statement, though I’m not quite sure what it was. It’s hard not to be moved at Javier Bardem‘s jubilation (AP photo). Other than being thrilled about the Coen brothers big win – a more laconic duo is just not imaginable – there were a few, uh, highs.

The beyond-sexy Bardem kissing co-star Josh Brolin. Daniel Day-Lewis kissing George Clooney. Great moments in metrosexuality. Day-Lewis being knighted by “the Queen,” was a delicious bit of improv, as was the slash-and-burn haircut on screenplay winner Diablo Cody — who deserves an Oscar just for her name.

It was a night to be pregnant. Heidi Klum was definitely the Lady in Red. Tilda Swinton’s unbelievably white skin made war with her unbelievably ugly dress. Could we please ban one-shoulder gowns for the foreseeable future?

Marion Cotillard was beyond delightful. Penelope Cruz was, once again, too beautiful to be allowed out in public.

Harrison Ford looked hotter than usual, but emcee Jon Stewart might want to re-think his entire career.

And finally could we once and for all outlaw those interminable, unwatchable “Best Song” bits?