A plea to cable TV talk hosts!  Just stop it!

I have had to assume for the past year that the incessant updates on CNN and FOX news about the lifestyle status of Lindsay Lohan is purely comic relief. After all what with a tanking economy, horrific Mexican mafia revelations, Afghani human rights abuses, our government’s interminable vacations, and the BP oil disaster, there is much we need to escape. But Lindsay Lohan? A non-talent nobody with a drug problem? Please! It’s no longer high irony to track this poor human being’s wasted efforts at getting her father’s attention via drugs, pornographic photo shoots, public weeping and rapid reversals of hair color.

Enough. Just stop it!

And while you’re at it, CNN, FOX, People Magazine, et al., please stop returning the phone calls, text messages and emails of Jennifer Aniston’s publicist. No one cares about the surgically-altered former Mrs. Pitt. She has nothing to offer. And the final bit of public humiliation she has inflicted upon herself (and the public) is her current, pathetic “homage” to the brilliant Barbra Streisand (see the cover of Harper’s Bazaar).

Oh, Aniston didn’t do any actual performing. She didn’t learn to sing, or act. She simply posed for a series of photographs in which she dressed and groomed herself to mimic the incomparable singer/actress. (Even as conceptual art this is a tired gimmick.)  In other words, only by voguing as a superstar in drag could Aniston (clearly scraping the bottom of her meager barrel) get somebody’s attention.

Where are the psychoanalysts when we need them? These two narcissistic losers are looking for love in all the wrong places. I’m sorry for them. But I’m sick of hearing about them.

Whew!  I feel a lot better – or rather I feel better temporarily, because as soon as I read the NYTimes on-line tomorrow there is bound to be yet another Lohan “update” and another fake bit of gossip about Aniston’s on-going quest for a man, a baby, and/or a better profile. (Attention feminists: read that last line again. Consider the sad truth of it. Women who have all the outward trappings of cultural “success” are still needy and desperate for the things that women in the 13th century, and the 15th and the 19th, etc. were taught to crave. No. We have NOT come a long way baby.