by Christina Waters | Mar 26, 2007 | Home |
This charming piece of urban apochrypha comes from an anonymous source, by way of Santa Cruz native Donna Blakemore. La Donna, currently Vice President for Development at San Francisco State University, should know better. (The views contained in this press release do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog.)
“Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for Santa Cruz County:
Aptos Barbie
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.
Soquel Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.
Lompico Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don’t know what you are talking about.
Pasatiempo Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her personal Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won’t be able to afford any of them.
Boulder Creek Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. This Barbie can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Capitola Barbie
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. A Percocet prescription is available as well as newly built condo.
Felton Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Lompico Barbie’s house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Comes with a mobile home.
Santa Cruz Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbie’s and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Watsonville Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
Scotts Valley Barbie
She’s perfect in every way. We have no idea where Ken is; he’s probably still at work in Silicon Valley.
by Christina Waters | Mar 20, 2007 | Food, Home |
Lunch at Gabriella with Gayle Ortiz — of Gayle’s Bakery & Rosticceria — satisfied my on-going cravings for loads of local gossip, plus fresh, seasonal culinartistry by chef/earth goddess Rebecca King. How was I to know that I’d find the best burger I’ve had in a decade? Take a look at this image! If you think it looks good, I gotta tell you it tasted ever better. Elegant and intensely satisfying. That is a super juicy, medium-rare grilled Kobe beef burger on fresh focaccia, topped with melted mozzarella, caramelized onions and mustard aioli. (The photo only shows my half of the burger.) Served with a small salad of deluxe greens, it was a bargain for $14. Gayle is nothing if not an adventurous diner — she confesses that she’ll eat anything! – so we began our lunch at Gabriella with a split Dungeness crab salad, before sharing the burger. The salad was very pretty with pale green avocado and pink and red beets, on a bed of spicy watercress. But it proved a bit dry in the eating. The burger was terrific — it kissed up to all those burger cravings at once, and without any of the guilt. We called for ketchup and then stopped talking for entire minutes as we feasted on what has to be one of the best burgers in town. Any town.
Gabriella, still hosted by Paul Cocking and still a downtown dining must, is located at 910 Cedar Street in Santa Cruz (call 831/457-1677 for reservations).
by Christina Waters | Mar 20, 2007 | Art, Home |
Annieglass always knocks me out. The sensory thrill is total at this temple of artful glass tableware, accessories and jewelry. Just looking in the window makes me feel good. Well Ann Morhauser not only makes art, she supports the arts. For many years now she’s been hosting visiting musicians each season who come to play in the Cabrillo Festival. In fact Morhauser likes the summer celebration of fine contemporary music so much that she’s throwing a party at the Annieglass store, 110 Cooper Street in Santa Cruz, next Saturday March 31 from 10am – 5pm. It’s free and will offer a chance to inspect two new patterns of tableware, like the ultramarine glass “boats” pictured here, as well as all those unbelievable earrings. Ten percent of the store proceeds that day will go to the Cabrillo Fest — so this is the day to snap up some of the beautiful gift items you’ve been drooling over.
by Christina Waters | Mar 20, 2007 | Home, Travel |
Every time I visit my great friend Laurel, we stop for a mid-day feast at the Parkhouse Eatery, always buzzing with action and sensationally intense flavors. Eccentric and colorful, like the bohemian University Heights neighborhood itself, Parkhouse occupies a funky vintage building (formerly a St. Vincent de Paul thrift store) and specializes in large creations involving oodles of fresh salads, no-holds-barred burgers and fries, and exotic variations on every great food idea southern California can hold.
The breakfasts are legendary, but last week it was lunch that called us. We managed to work our way through some, but not all, of a juicy, pink lamb burger, slathered with gorgonzola, olive tapenade and tomatos, with home-made ketchup. This arrived with a flotilla of fries and a large lemonade. I sampled a cup of the famous grilled shrimp and potato chowder. It was melt-in-your-mind good, as if someone’s mother had whipped it up from scratch — lots of butter, herbs, ribbons of leek, creamy potatoes and yes, grilled shrimps.
I also attempted to do partial justice (sounds like the theme for our current federal administration…) to a mammoth crab cake sandwich, but I failed. So Laurel took half of it home for dinner.
Oh yeah. We also worked our way through a single “Everything But the Kitchen Sink Brownie.” Served in a warm bowl, this is the ultimate, multi-layer, nut-encrusted, granola-enhanced, chocolate-studded brownie, topped with vanilla ice cream and more chocolate. The excellent Parkhouse coffee helped us make inroads on the decadent dessert. Like a trip to an x-rated chocolate bathhouse . . . . So next time you’re in the Balboa Park/University Heights region of San Diego, don’t miss Parkhouse. You could spend some quality time in the nearby art and antiques places too. So that’s Parkhouse Eatery, serving breakfast, lunch AND dinner daily at 4574 Park Blvd.(619/295-7275).
by Christina Waters | Mar 20, 2007 | Home, Travel |
I love beautiful Balboa Park — you can always separate the great cities from the wannabees, by their parks. The Spanish Baroque “leftovers” from the 1915 Panama-California International Exposition, fill Balboa Park with graceful buildings and tropical gardens inviting leisurely strolling and picnicking. But the place is also filled with serious cultural diversions, from the Mingei Museum of international crafts, and the legendary Zoo, to the Aerospace Museum and the ornate Museum building, surrounded by gardens, fountains and even an old-fashioned organ pavilion, always well-used by lavish Mexican wedding parties.
My mom and I checked out the much-hyped Annie Liebovitz show, loaded with celebrity photos and intimate family vacation portraits. I found out more than I needed to know about every single hotel room in Venice that Liebovitz and her partner, the late Susan Sontag, had shared. And in all, it seemed more pop-star voyeurism trumped up as “art” than anything genuinely revealing about the human animal. A notable exception was a poignant photograph of Johnny Cash, not long before his death, looking at his wife, June Carter as she played the autoharp on their rambling front porch. His life was rolled into that single look of love and regret. Would that more of Liebovitz’ images on display had held as much.
There’s nothing like a line-up of Vanity Fair covers to work up an appetite, so we next hit the user-friendly Tea Pavilion dining patio, and swilled down udon noodles and teriyaki tofu rice bowls, washed down with green tea. This little al fresco spot, wedged conveniently between the main museum and the rose-filled Japanese Friendship Garden, offers friendly staff, fresh Japanese foods and low prices.
